Warning Signs and Other Perplexing Ideas

This is the second edition of Signs that make a person think…What The Hell? The first entry of signs that I had collected from various places is located here ~ Warnings and Other Reasonable Guidelines and I’m happy to say that entry inspired a few people to send over more signs…..

Without further adieu ~

This sign was sent to me from Rod aka BackyardBass on twitter. He came across this ironic sign while fly fishing for red fish in Florida and he and his family had a good hour laugh about it. They figured it was a sign for the whishy washy people of the world. If you’re the sort that can’t make up your mind, than this sign is for YOU~

So the obvious question would seem, if one is going through a drive thru, why in the world would they need to park? Or, in an effort to confuse people, some smart ass developed this sign so that he could pull up a lawn chair and watch people park, unpark, park, unpark and finally drive away looking over their shoulder to make sure no one was laughing at them.

Any way you look at it, signs like this are put on this planet to confound the mind and put the huh in our days.

This sign was sent over from Pete who is Captain of the Fishing Jones blog.

First of all, I should mention I live in Idaho. That’s, I-Da-Ho, lands of meat and potatoes. The Simple Life. The only thing that could qualify as exotic in this territory is the bikini strippers at the local Wagon Wheel joint ~~ and those bikini’s can’t legally come off and erode the minds of Idaho citizens. So, basically, I reside in a sheltered bubble.

So when an innocent Idaho mind like my own (my fish stories are all true as well, you just have to believe) sees a sign for fresh Conch Salad I immediately want to hurl. The way I see it, a fresh conch is akin to an overgrown snail on steroids. No thank you~ However, I learned something new from this sign, a google verification search and am more than happy to innocently pass it along for the largely male audience I have. If you can choke down an over grown snail without hurling, the side effects just might… *cough* I can’t do it. I can’t write out the side effects for conch consumption. (read the fine print under photo) I’ll just say this, if the effects last more then 4 hours, eat a baked potato, the antidote to all of life’s ahh ailments~~

And on that note, because really, what else could I write….this concludes today’s sign feature. Keep a watch out for me, take your cameras with you (that includes you Rob) and send me pictures of those signs that inspire the double take so I can feature them~

Thank you Rod and Pete!

Rebecca

Bonus Picture: In an effort to explain to me how fisherman in Minnesota stay warm, Karl the Trout Whisperer sent me a visual explanation. He wrote, “you mentioned it looked cold…please review enclosed photo…its how we handle the cold in the great north woods….Irish antifreeze…”

So that’s how the ice fisherman do it, stay warm that is……….and, I’ve studied that fishing hole and I think if I stood back far enough, I just might be able to fly fish it from the right angle! (grin)

Outdoor Adventures: Living The Dream

I’ve been known to load up an SUV with bare essentials and fly solo for days on end (sometimes a week or more) adrift and 100% alone. I’ll grab fly fishing paraphernalia, a sleeping bag, a pillow, a few items of clothing, a single cooler for my diet coke addiction and food items if there’s any room left (priorities ya know). Ok, and I should mention because it’s my Fathers one essential requirement I take when I go on my trips, I also bring a gun. The big bad world has been warned~

Those stolen, or perhaps they are taken, times in my life are perfect for solitary decompression and quiet thought. My trips usually require a lot of drive time because busting out on my own and going 2 hours away from the house would seem……insignificant. I need distance and anything less than a 4 hour drive just doesn’t do it, not to forget here, fishing is always better the farther away one gets, cardinal rule.

I don’t mind the drive time. I usually listen to a book on tape, or crank up some good music, roll down my window and let life as I’m required to live it, far behind. I highly recommend such individual adventures. Time alone, and I mean, really alone….is good for the outdoor soul.

Today I find myself excited to put one more CD in my arsenal of drive time companionship. Recently I got the audio CD ”Outdoor Adventures” by Karl “Trout Whisperers” Seckinger.

Listening to this CD is like pulling up a lawn chair next to a campfire, kicking back and listening to a master storyteller mesmerize you with adventures from his life.

Karl’s adventures center around his time in the Superior National Forest. His stories have you fishing, hiking, hunting right along side him and his occasional companions. It’s definitely something I could listen to over and over……Check out this link for more information and an audio sample of what I’m writing about today…….Trout Whisperer CD “Outdoor Adventures” It’s the perfect mood setter when you’re driving to those far off destinations, or even when you’re stuck like a prisoner in your own home and need a mental escape ~

And on that note….I hope everyone takes time to venture out and find outdoor adventure on their own, alone and without influence of others . The gun is optional of course, except for me……

Rebecca

Disclosure Forms of the Outdoor Risk Variety

A few nights ago, my parents and I were discussing some of the tragic and hilarious outdoor trips we’ve taken with “risks’ in the past. A ‘risk’ is defined by someone you’ve never camped, fished, hiked, hunted or broke bread in the dirt with in. So basically, everyone reading this would be considered a ‘risk’ just as I would be a ‘risk’ (safe of course) if you invited me along for one of your trips. It’s all about the unknown factor.

On the whole, ’risks’ are freakin scary (insert proper horror movie music here) to invite and bring along for the first outdoor trip. ~You just don’t know~ In my experience, the person that seems like the most sane and level headed human inside a city house can morph into a frothing lunatic under the influence of outdoor air and campfire smoke. I have witnessed and survived such mystical transformations.

I’ll probably even tell some of those stories here on Zee Outdooress. But not today, today I wanted to focus on a thought process I started while talking to my parents. What if there was a general disclosure form one could present to potential risks before you purchased propane or hot dogs? Something you could say, “hey before we head to the great blue sky, I’d like you to answer this quick little questionnaire” ~  (it may be advisable to hook them up to a lie detector while they answer) For Example:

True or False~

• I only camp where they have running toilets, outhouses are unsanitary and bushes for the uncivilized.
• I am allergic to one or more of the following—campfire smoke, bugs, rain, pitch darkness, wood gathering, tent erecting, camp set up or dismantling, doing dishes, or direct sunlight.
• I can not camp in a spot that might harbor the occasional wild animal
• I think fishing should only be from the safety of a dock with rails
• A campfire should have a safety grate on top of it
• I adhere to the old ways when you didn’t need a fishing or hunting license to take fish or game.
• A hike in the woods can only be attempted with a GPS unit, bear spray and a satellite phone
• I only Fly Fish with paid guides
• If it’s not a Government campground, a KOA or run by the electric company and have hook up’s and a concrete pad—it’s not a “real” campground.
• Does this statement apply to you, “When I was growing up, my family and I went camping all the time, at Grandmas cabin.”
• If you are of the female persuasion ~ Do you feel it necessary to put makeup on and wash your hair every morning you are camping, even if it’s just a weekend trip?
• I have found myself in need of search and rescue one or more times in my life.
• I believe bringing two cans of Chili and a package of hotdogs is plenty of food for 3 days.
• Temperatures dipping below 60 degrees, day or night, will result in a hypothermia induced coma.
• If the road isn’t paved the entire way, from home doorstep to concrete camping pad, I consider the journey impassable and a risk to life itself.

**if you have answered true to one or more of the above, we will need to postpone our trip pending further outdoor psychological evaluation**

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This of course, is just a start. I’m sure there are plenty more scenarios that could be placed on the disclosure questionnaire. I’m always open to suggestions, adjustments and amendments ~

Rebecca

 

Warnings and Other Reasonable Guidelines

Recently I read a great article by the Trout Whisperer and his words reminded me of a hobby I recently adopted. Basically, I kept running into signs in the Great Outdoors that made me stop and wonder, “For Real? Seriously? No they didn’t, oh yes they did!” So I did what any amused soul should do, I started taking pictures, proof style, so I could later reflect on the importance of well placed guidelines.

Maybe this first picture is an Idaho bathroom thing, but I hope not! Surely this is a concern in other states as well, but at this point I haven’t gathered any collaboration. The only reason such a sign could exist in a bathroom is because somewhere a person decided a public bathroom was a sanitary sanctuary in which to gut pile a fish and wash it clean.

Finding this sign in a ladies room inspired an instant gasp of denial from me… for the collective female race. We gals would never! I won’t point any fingers here, so I’ll just assume the sign was put in the ladies room, as well as the mens, as an equality requirement, not insinuation.

This sign is probably the direct result of someone putting their hot dog packages, a few propane bottles and empty beer cans down an outhouse toilet.

I guess the suggestion of “pack it in, pack it out” is a loose term defined differently on an individual basis. In most cases, “pack it in, pack it out”  means hauling all forms of trash back home. In a more narrow field of humans, “pack it in and pack it to the OUT-house” is a perfectly acceptable interpretation of the suggested guidelines. Hopefully this sign brings clarification to their bathroom etiquette or at the very least a gentle reminder that only a few things belong down a toilet– like last nights chili…but not the actual can…..

This sign was located on a dam, with a sheer drop off and a spillway right below it. I wondered, who in their right mind would look at the body of water swirling like churning death below and think to themselves, “Oh wow! That looks like a damn good place to take a swim.”

Of all the pictures I’ve collected, this is my favorite. I like it’s tone, the point blank.. hey you, if you want to live, don’t be a moron and climb the fence, or do a swan dive, or attempt a backstroke over the spillway. I suppose in the face of certain death, subtle suggestions would be an ineffective jolt.

The scary part about these signs and others I’ve collected is the realization that they are posted because someone already tried it. Be it fish cleaning in a public bathroom sink, a propane bottle down the throne of an outhouse or playing dare devil on a dam.

I’ll continue to be on the look out for signs that evoke a double take. It is my wish today that you will be as lucky as I have been and come across signs that give you a shake of your head, validation of your good common sense and a decent chuckle. Keep a look out~

Rebecca

Comment from John who writes Seven Bridges Road: “”You should do a sign of the week or month and maybe allow submissions from your blog followers? Could get interesting.”"

I think that’s a great idea! I would love to see what others find on their many adventures and post them as a special feature. Sooo….if anyone comes across a double take, take a picture, email me, I’ll feature your special find! My contact information is on the About Rebecca page~