Obviously I am not in the ’know how’ when it comes to photographing fish when I’m out on the water. Evidence of this can be found in 1) The lack of pictures on my hard drive 2) the pictures I do have are marginal at best. Visual confirmation of marginal can be found looking at the pictures I post on this website.
As I meander around the Internet highway stopping at various fishing sites I see the most amazing pictures of people holding fish or a fish laying peacefully across a net with a posed fly rod resting next to it. The colors are sharp and the fish are damn near smiling for the photographer and I wonder……..how the hell did they do that??
I’ve come up with two obvious conclusions:
Scenario 1) Once a fish has been hooked, the Fly Fisher calls out two things, “Fish On!” and even louder ”Cue the Professional Photographer!!!!”
Scenario 2) Fly fisherman is alone but knows the secret art of fish hypnosis. First he performs the voodoo belly rub that puts his trophy Trout into a calm state of sedation. Next he poses docile Trout over his net, adding Fly Rod neatly in the view, compliment style. Now the Fisherman walks up the bank to unwrap his Nikon 5000 mackdaddy camera from it’s waterproof back pack. He returns and takes 15 pictures for quality control. Once the photo shoot is over, Fly Fisherman counts backwards from 3, blows two puffs of air into the Trouts gills and it merrily swims away.
Yes? No? Am I close? Is that how you all do it???
Now…..I can instruct people in the fine art of how not to take pictures at all or if you do, marginal ones. I’m already an authority on those abilities. First there is the no pictures at all skill. Basically you forget to take a camera with you, or, if you take a camera, make sure the batteries are low enough the camera shows you a “warning, battery exhausted” screen instead of immortalizing the biggest fish you’ve ever caught on a midge. Doing either option will ensure no visual proof will be in existence.
((There is a bonus side to the forget the camera ability. The concept of ‘fish stories’ is more plausible when you don’t have visual confirmation. If you want to turn that 16 inch brown into a 26 inch badboy, who’s gonna to disprove it? Proof is the burden of the skeptic in all fishing scenarios!))
The marginal photograph can only be achieved via a marginal camera in the hands of a marginal photographer (that’s me). I have a Nikon….coolpix that is. It’s a point and shoot, and I point it and shoot it. Because I Fly Fish alone a lot and haven’t learned how to hypnotise a trout, the majority of the time I don’t bother with a picture. Juggling a flopping fish, my fly rod, a net and a camera all at the same time sounds like a slippery slope straight into drowned camera territory.
My last option at getting a picture comes in the form of other people I fish with. The most reliable person who is willing to put down her fly rod and take a picture is my 14 year old daughter. When I look through the few pictures I have, I’d say 50% of them have been taken by her. So I give her huge props for trying. The thing about Kaitlyn is she likes ‘interesting angles’ and tends to twist and turn the camera for dramatic effect. (It’s a creative kid thing)
Maybe I need to buy Kaitlyn the mack daddy camera, send her to photography school and she could be my “Cue the Professional Photographer” go to gal! (this is why I like to write, workin’ out a solution here)
If anyone feels like offering up their secrets and advice, including, but not limited to, the exact way to belly rub a trout into submission, I am an open shutter.
P.S. The above picture is best viewed if you tilt your head to the left. Just sayin’